Today as I write this - it is my 42nd birthday. I'll take a little break from my story to talk about that. Birthdays aren't such a big deal as we get older but they do mean something. I had just turned 40 when my symptoms first showed up. My plans for all that I would do and be after turning 40 quickly took a back seat as I began to walk a very different road than I had imagined instead. One where I could no longer walk very well, couldn't write, couldn't play the piano, couldn't sing, couldn't work. I have struggled long and hard the last year and a half over what it really is that makes a person worth something. I long to feel useful - to have a clear purpose.
But maybe those thoughts are for another post. For now, I will enjoy my birthday - celebrating the fact that I am here, that I am present with my family and also that I am feeling relatively well at this time. I want to be grateful for all the blessings God has showered me with. There is so much to be thankful for.
The words of a song sung by Steve Bell have been especially meaningful to me - if you get a chance to listen to it - it's such a good song. It's called 'Here By the Water'. Steve Bell is a well known Christian singer-songwriter from my home province of Manitoba.
Music and lyrics by Jim Croegaert
copyright 1986 Rough Stones Music
Moon shining over the valley
Joining the song of the river
To the great giver of the great good
As it enfolds me
Somehow it holds me together
I realize I've been singing
Still it comes ringing
Clearer than clear
I'll build an altar to praise Him
Out of the stones that I've found here
I'll set them down here
Rough as they are
Knowing You can make them holy
Knowing You can make them holy
Knowing You can make them holy
Kept on returning to move me
Down roads I'd never have chosen
Half the time frozen
Too numb to feel
I know it was stormy
I hope it was for me a learning
Blood on the road wasn't mine though
Someone that I know
Has walked here before
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